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em-arginated

Published: Apr 21, 2013

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imitation poem for creative writing class of the lovely May Swenson's "Little Lion Face."

i've withheld this from dA for a long time because a lot of work / editing has gone into it, but i'm posting it in part because i would really appreciate my watchers' help with further suggestions.

any suggestions / critique HIGHLY desired! feel free to tear me apart, gently. (;
(a couple specific things:
is the title working?
unsure about the line break "grocery store / aisles"
any images that are over-complicated / not working? specifically "an oxygen drought / from decay", and "embraced glass" was originally "embraced glass concavity".)

in exchange i will gladly help you out with one of your poems, if you point me to one. (:

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